Okay, first off, I’ve said it before, but I’m gonna say it again: Oregon is one weird fucking state. For the past two days, this is how the weather has been: Sun, rain, sleet, sun, sleet, rain, sun, rain, hail, rain, sun, snow, sun, rain, sun. This was how it was all day long for the last two days. Freakin’ weird.

Anyway, I got up to the mountain twice this week. And it was awesome. It snowed all weekend long, so I got to play in some fresh powder for a change. It was badass. The black diamonds were so sweet with a fresh foot of powder. I played. Alot.

I rented Rattitouille on Blu-Ray. Not only was the movie great, but that movie looked so awesome in HD. I also bought the South Park Imaginationland DVD. No commercials, strung together, uncensored. That trilogy was freakin’ hilarious. I’ve only watched it like 6 or 9 times so far. “Why is it so easy for children to break into the Pentagon?“

Categories: My Weekend
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Well, once again, Yahoo disappoints me. I have been an avid user of Yahoo Launch Music, so basically I could sit and watch music videos continuously, without ever having to go look for something else every few minutes.

And now, of course, they made “improvements”. Remember the good ole’ pop-up player?

Gone.

Replaced by an embedded piece of shit flash player that doesn’t even fucking work.

Thanks Yahoo. Glad to see you still hate us just as much as ever.

Categories: WTF?, Rant
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Someday in the near future, well, okay, the distant future, Space Travel shall be easy. And I of course, shall have my own vessel. So, when the day comes that I finally own my own spaceship, I realize that I shall also need a crew. A crew who matches my style. One that is loyal, badass, and can humor me. Intelligence is a plus as well. Oh, and we gotta have some drinkers in there as well. Who would you pick to staff it? As for me, well, I’ve got just the people in mind.

First off, for the pilot, I’d take Wash from Firefly/Serenity. Sure, he might be dead now, but hey, he’s also a fictional character. Anybody that can fly like that and deliver me lines like “I’m a leaf on the Wind” and “Oh God, oh God, we’re all going to die” in a calm, yet truthful tone, is most definately my guy to fly.

For the Co-Pilot, I’d have to go with Data. You just can’t go wrong with that guy. I’d only have one rule for him. No fucking emotion chip. Take that fucker out of your fingernail or wherever you keep it, smash the shit out of it, and then melt it down with some thermite. We don’t need you flipping out and running us into a planet just because your captain (me, The Chad) is watching porn and you’ve just gotten your first ever hard on.

Engineer - Now, most people would probably go with Scotty or La Forge, but me, I’m gonna have to go with Tech Sergeant Chen/Fred Kwan from Galaxy Quest. Not only is he another guy that can tell me I’m about to die while remaining disturbingly calm, but he can bullshit his way through just about anything by putting other people on the spot. And I like that in a man I’m about to trust with the maintenance and repair of my ship. Oh, and as his backup, I’d go with Kaylee (also from Firefly) just because not only is she smart, but she’s really, really hot.

Commander (2nd in command) - hmmm….While I should go with Spock, as we all know I should, I’m once again gonna go with a member of the Serenity crew and go with Zoe. Why? Well, other than being a supreme being in the level of hotness, she is also someone that could fuck you up just because you glanced at her ass for .002 seconds. Of course, on my ship, her and Wash? Never even met before, at least not in my reality.

Now, as for the ships psychic (becouse we should all have our own psychic on board), I will, once again, go with a member of Firefly. River Tam. Let me repeat that. River “I kill fucking reavers for fun” Tam. Sure, once again, Spock might be a nice choice, but hey, how can you argue with another fine looking space chick? And for those of you that for some reason might be thinking of Counselor Troi….um…sorry, I’ll keep my staff under the age of 50.

As for the ships Robot (how can you not have a fucking robot on board?), I had to think long and hard about this one. Well, no, not really. I had my mind made up in 3 seconds who it was gonna be. Bender. Just for the shear fact that I know he will always be there when I need a drinking buddy, I pick Bender. I did make a small list of other robots, but the decision was never gonna change. Who else did I think of? Well, Hal 9000 of course, but since I’m not too familiar with that movie, I had to rule it out. I had also thought about Marvin from The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, mainly because that dude is funny as hell. However, he’s also extremely depressing and might cause me to drink even more than I would will with Bender.

For the ships doctor, I’d definitely have to go with McCoy from Star Trek. If for nothing else, every time I try to tell him to do something other than treat phaser wounds and heal space syphilis from that Jayne got from bangin’ some space hooker from the Gamma quadrant, I’d get to hear Bones yell awesome lines like “God damnit Chad, I’m a doctor not a pig degreaser!” Oh yeah, it’d all be worth it just to hear that line.

Muscle - this is gonna be good. Hows about we go ahead and make my own private brut force, ay?Worf (Star Trek:TNG), Jayne (Firefly), Stitch (Lilo & Stitch), Johnny Rico (Starship Troopers), Korben Dallas (The Fifth Element), and just for the fuck of it, Sarah Connor (I make my own rules!….just so long as it’s the Linda Hamilton version).

Now, I was also trying to find a spot for Alan Rickmans character from Galaxy Quest, becouse anybody who sprouts the line “BY GRAPTHARS HAMMER, YOU SHALL BE AVANGED!” is certainly nobody to fuck with. So, since we also wanted him for the ships robot, why don’t we just kidnap Alan Rickman and keep on board for the fun of it. Besides, were in space, where the hell is he gonna go?

Private “Entertainment” - Seven of 9. Need I say more?

And so, there you go. There’s my Crew. Now I’m sure that people will think that I left someone out from some of their favorite Outer Space TV shows or Movies. Well, it’s my ship and I’ll pick who I want So, go out and pick your own crew…and let me know. I’m interested.Oh, I almost forgot - The red shirted expendable crew member on the away team. Hmmmm….lets go with….Jar Jar Binks. Yep, I know that he’d be annoying as all hell, but just the shear fact that I know everytime we go down to a new planet, his ass gets killed in some horrific yet awesome manner, I’d be soooo happy.

Categories: Movies, WTF?
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Yes my friends, after a nice hiatus, What do I think? has returned, and this time with a theme: Music. So, without further wait causing any possible heart conditions or indigestion….I Think:

Metallica should have called it quits after the Black Album. Some would say before, but I like it.

Michelle Branch should go back to her regular music. While I like The Wreckers, I like Michelle Branch more.

Metallica should have had their asses kicked after load and reload.

Linkin Park has gone soft. Their new album blows, and I’m dead sure that before they come out with a new one, they’ll be sure to somehow remix it and then throw out another live album. Maybe by then they’ll have regrown their sack and put out some good(also non-political) music once again.

Metallica gets a few bonus points for S&M.

My Chemical Romance is just plain, flat out, awesome. That is it.

Taylor Swift is quite possibly the best thing to happen to Country Music in a long, long time.

Metallica should be kneecapped for pissing off every single teenager on the planet (especially fans of theirs, like me) for destroying Napster.

New artists who wish to get signed should no longer be allowed to use the name “Lil”. It’s just dumb.

Three Days Grace is one of the (if not THE) best Rock Bands out there right now. They are completely badass.
Metallica should hit themselves in the head with a ball-pean hammer after releasing St Anger.

Why Doesn’t Foxboro Hot Tubs just get it over with and call themselves GreenDay V2.0

American Idol needs to be stopped.

Metallica is coming out with a new album this fall. If it sucks (which it will), they should have their tendons in their wrist cut to prevent them from making any MORE crappy music and continuing to ruin their once awesome and badass legacy.

Yep, don’t you feel all warm and fuzzy navel inside?

Categories: Whatever
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Holy F#!@$%^&*( S%)(&%%^$#!@!!!!!!

I am flipping out pissed off right now.

Okay, so here’s a rundown of the day BEFORE I got irritated.

Got up at 5am to go snowboarding. Hit every single stop light on the way to Timmy’s house. I’m still good, mainly becouse I’m half dead and drinking coffee. Once we get up the mountain, we find that it’s basically blizzard conditions and the snow sucks ass. We did 3 runs and called it quits. Thats how much ass it sucked. But I’m still good.

Leaving the Mountain, some retard was BACKING DOWN THE FUCKING HILL IN OUR LANE!!!! WTF?

Okay, I’m still all good. Mainly becouse I wasn’t driving.

Then, we get home (well, back to Timmy’s house). Thats when shit goes downhill.

After I leave his place, some jackass in his gay STI (its only gay becouse he had retard stickers on the rear fenders) was going 10mph. In a 25mph zone. Then, as we turn the corner and get on a two lane street, he’s still going ungodly slow. Slow, that is, until I pull into the left lane and try to go at least the fucking speed limit. And that’s when he decides to speed up.

Speed up until he gets beside the car in front of me, whom is also going under the speed limit. And what does Mr. Gaycar do? The fucker paces him. It’s at this point that Road Rage enters the mind. Finally, I get past Mr. Flamercar. Red light. Red light. Sitting at green light. Red light. Red light. Slam on breaks in right lane becouse OMG someone is turning in the left lane! Red Light. Go 10mph under speed limit becouse OMG there is a squirrel on the sidewalk. Brand new Red light that just got turned on today. Enter apartment complex, wait for bigass truck to make 30 point uturn. Wait for moving truck to not block entire road. Wait for people to craaawwwllll in front of parking spot.

Okay, I’m home now. Everything should be A-OKAY, right? Wrong. Rat dog shit all over the apartment. And I dont mean just take a dump. Squirts here, there, everywhere. Oh, and I guess he needed to wipe as well, using any left over available non-shit covered spot. Oh yeah, I’m in a great mood.

Someone get me beer, shot of Cabo, and pack a bowl. I could really, really use it right about now.

Categories: I HATE PEOPLE!, Oregon Drivers
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