I tickle Jen

She says she’s gonna get me back.

I reply with this: I’m ungetbackable.

Yeah.

I rolled my ankle at the Cancer Relay last week and it’s just now starting to bother me. You combine that with the everlasting knot in my back/neck, and I’m not in the greatest of shape lately.

It finally got hot here in Oregon (like, really, really fucking hot). So, as with every season change, people have completely forgotten how to drive again. I have gotten behind about 4 people in the last 2 days that all want to go at least 10mph under the speed limit. No shit. No exageration. Seriously, 10mph under. What. The. Fuck. Damn I wish road rage was legal.

Were going up to Seattle again this weekend to watch the Detroit Tigers pownce on the Mariners once again. We’re going to both the 4th and 5th of July games. Yeah, baseball, the 4th of July, fireworks, more baseball, and with the girl I love and some of my best friends as well. How could this weekend get any better…..oh, yeah….plus beer!

And one last thing. To whomever it was that was fucking around with my Paypal account, Thanks a fuckload. I just now finally got both of your charges taken care of, and since I had to have the account locked to keep you from fucking with it even more, and since Paypal will only accept a landline phone to prove that it’s me to unlock it, the lady you tried to steal $750 from wont be getting her money back anytime soon since I have to do the verification through the mail. Oh, and a very special fuckoffery for making me memorize another freakin password and security questions. I really appreciate it.

dick.

Categories: I HATE PEOPLE!, Oregon Drivers, Rant, My Weekend
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Holy F#!@$%^&*( S%)(&%%^$#!@!!!!!!

I am flipping out pissed off right now.

Okay, so here’s a rundown of the day BEFORE I got irritated.

Got up at 5am to go snowboarding. Hit every single stop light on the way to Timmy’s house. I’m still good, mainly becouse I’m half dead and drinking coffee. Once we get up the mountain, we find that it’s basically blizzard conditions and the snow sucks ass. We did 3 runs and called it quits. Thats how much ass it sucked. But I’m still good.

Leaving the Mountain, some retard was BACKING DOWN THE FUCKING HILL IN OUR LANE!!!! WTF?

Okay, I’m still all good. Mainly becouse I wasn’t driving.

Then, we get home (well, back to Timmy’s house). Thats when shit goes downhill.

After I leave his place, some jackass in his gay STI (its only gay becouse he had retard stickers on the rear fenders) was going 10mph. In a 25mph zone. Then, as we turn the corner and get on a two lane street, he’s still going ungodly slow. Slow, that is, until I pull into the left lane and try to go at least the fucking speed limit. And that’s when he decides to speed up.

Speed up until he gets beside the car in front of me, whom is also going under the speed limit. And what does Mr. Gaycar do? The fucker paces him. It’s at this point that Road Rage enters the mind. Finally, I get past Mr. Flamercar. Red light. Red light. Sitting at green light. Red light. Red light. Slam on breaks in right lane becouse OMG someone is turning in the left lane! Red Light. Go 10mph under speed limit becouse OMG there is a squirrel on the sidewalk. Brand new Red light that just got turned on today. Enter apartment complex, wait for bigass truck to make 30 point uturn. Wait for moving truck to not block entire road. Wait for people to craaawwwllll in front of parking spot.

Okay, I’m home now. Everything should be A-OKAY, right? Wrong. Rat dog shit all over the apartment. And I dont mean just take a dump. Squirts here, there, everywhere. Oh, and I guess he needed to wipe as well, using any left over available non-shit covered spot. Oh yeah, I’m in a great mood.

Someone get me beer, shot of Cabo, and pack a bowl. I could really, really use it right about now.

Categories: I HATE PEOPLE!, Oregon Drivers
2 Comments »

I tried to log into my student loans website today. Apparently they have instituted a new security feature where usernames and strong passwords just arent good enough anymore. Now, I also have to answer 3 questions about some crap that I setup a long, long time ago. I have to answer these questions EVERY SINGLE TIME I LOG IN. Like I friggin remember the crap I typed in months ago! And it wont even be the same 3 questions! I had to setup about 6 of these.

Now one of my accounts has been disabled becouse I couldn’t remember any of that crap.

Seriously, how is this necessary? Is someone gonna hack my account and pay my student loans for me?

WTF?

Categories: I HATE PEOPLE!, WTF?, Rant
3 Comments »

 I wrote the majority of this article awhile ago, and just never felt like it was the right time to publish it. However, when I logged on to Digg today, there were two articles right in a row, fueling the fight of Christianity vs Atheism. Not only did it irritate me a bit going over this crap, but I also found it a bit humorous as just last night they played the Go God, Go South Park episodes (you know, where Cartman freezes himself while waiting for the Wii, and Richard Dawkins starts bangin’ Mr Ms Garrison).

Alright, I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m not the most religious person. I was raised to be, but I’m not. The constant fear of going to hell as a child got old real quick, and it basically backfired. However, I do maintain a faith.

Now, why can’t people just let me have that? Why is it that every time I go to a news site (especially my most favorite site of all, digg.com), I’m basically being called an idiot becouse I might actually believe in a higher power? If someone I know has a different religion (or none at all), then fine. Thats their call. It’s their life.

I’m getting tired of all this “evolution” vs “creationism” bullshit. Why does everything have to come down to one way or the other?

This is why I don’t talk politics or religion with anybody. Ever. I find it amusing that all these so called “athiest” always talk about how christians try to shove thier ideas down peoples throagts, yet have no problem being an absolute dick to people who choose to believe in something greater than themselves.

Categories: I HATE PEOPLE!, Rant
2 Comments »

We all have people we despise. Here are some of mine.

 Sarah Silverman - You are not funny. Your show sucks sweaty donkey balls. Though you don’t have to totally go away; just shut the fuck up, unbutton your shirt for Maxim, and maybe go into porn. mmK?

Anyone and everyone at Fox News - I get more accurate news from the Daily Show.

Ann Coulter - do I even need to explain this one?

“anti-racist” racists - This includes all people like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Fuck off and STFU. I would never ever ever apologize to any of you for anything I did or said. EVER. If I had truly wronged someone, I would apologize to them. All you jackasses want is your face in front of a camera.

Rosie O’Donnell - I don’t even know where to start. Lets just all be glad she didn’t make the cut for The Price is Right.

Idiot Cowboy in Charge - yeah, you know who I’m talking about.

Categories: I HATE PEOPLE!, WTF?, Rant
5 Comments »